Yesterday, in New York City, Donald Trump and codefendants Donald Jr, and Eric, were found to have carried out decades of civil fraud in their business dealings. The judge found “that Donald J. Trump persistently committed fraud by inflating the value of his assets, and stripped the former president of control over some of his signature New York properties.”

This did not go over well within the Trump family. Today, filing in a New York City family court, the Trump brothers brought suit against their father for parental neglect for his failure to have “informed us he was running illegal enterprises.” In addition, they demand reimbursement of their Trump University tuition which did not prepare them for business in the “real world” and caused them to take on “exorbitant levels of student debt which they still are paying off through part-time jobs in a grocery store.”
“He hid all his dirty doings from us,” Don Jr. and Eric asserted, in unison, “but Ivanka – his precious Ivanka – was shielded from his machinations!” (They are suing her as well for that.) “We went to work faithfully each and every day, signing anything, saying anything he ordered us to. Apparently we were lied to. By our own father!” They plan to borrow attorney fees from Trump campaign funds, which they’ve been assured, “is perfectly legal.”