Category: Elon Musk

Rumors of Edgar Rice Burroughs’ Death are Premature

Michael Matheron1 Comment

Edgar Rice Burroughs, acclaimed author of 26 Tarzan books, is apparently still collecting social security benefits. Or so said Elon Musk, megamind leader of DOGE, during a joint presser with Trump. Burroughs was born 1875 which puts him at the very ripe age of 175. Explaining that DOGE discovered many 175-year-olds are also receiving monthly checks, he informed:

“There’s crazy things, like, just a cursory examination of Social Security and we’ve got people in there that are about 150 years old . . . Now, do you know anyone that’s 150? I don’t. They should be in the Guinness Book of World Records, they’re missing out.”

Here’s the true story, however, that Musk and his twenty-something mini megaminds did not know because they have done, it seems, zero research about the SSA database. As reported by Daily Kos:

“Reports say that his group at DOGE is made up of fairly young people.  What those kids don’t realize is that Social Security uses VERY OLD computers.  They’re programmed with an old version of the programming language COBOL.

A bit of history.  On May 20, 1875 a bunch of countries got together to create the International Bureau of Weight and Measures which established uniform standards of mass and length.  Later on, the Bureau established rules for dates as well.  The dates standard used a starting date of May 20 1875 to honor the creation of the Bureau. Old versions of COBOL use that date as a baseline.  Social Security’s computers use that old version. Dates are stored as the number of days AFTER May 20 1875.

So what happens if Social Security doesn’t know a birthdate?  That field is empty in its records.  Thus that person appears to have a birthday of May 20 1875—about 150 years ago. That’s why the crack team of youngsters Musk uses found 150-year-old people in Social Security getting benefits.  It’s all really as simple—and as stupid—as that.

You’d think that those bright MAGAheads would notice that ALL those 150 year olds have THE SAME BIRTHDAY:  May 20, 1875. But they didn’t.  Genius Elon Musk didn’t.  And, of course, STABLE GENIUS Donald Trump didn’t either.”

Mr. Burroughs could not be reached for comment.

MUSK EMAIL

Michael Matheron1 Comment

DOGE-Master Elon Musk issued an ultimatum to federal employees on February 25th saying in a post on his social media platform X that federal employees – untold millions of them – must respond to an email justifying the work they completed this week or resign.

Being the good sport that he is Musk submitted his own list as an example of a “good week'”:

Five things I did this week to justify my federal job to myself:

Installed invisible puppet strings on Trump
Introduced neurolink biochips into Trump’s Diet Cokes
Ignored two of my children’s health crises because…..well….I was busy working
Cut myself shaving with my CPAC honorary gold chainsaw
Declared Trump a Non Player Character in my new video game



USAID Attacked Relentlessly

Michael Matheron1 Comment

The United States Agency for International Development (USAID) has been oppressively besieged since the arrival of Elon Musk, Trump’s hatchet man. One of the results among the many agencies under attack is the stifling of public communications, including shutting information about the agency on the agency websites. Presently, USAID’s website consists of one page which sounds like a death knell, and it very likely is. Note the final sentence, “Thank you for your service.” Indeed. . .

On Friday, February 7, 2025, at 11:59 pm (EST) all USAID direct hire personnel will be placed on administrative leave globally, with the exception of designated personnel responsible for mission-critical functions, core leadership and specially designated programs. Essential personnel expected to continue working will be informed by Agency leadership by Thursday, February 6, at 3:00pm (EST).

For USAID personnel currently posted outside the United States, the Agency, in coordination with missions and the Department of State, is currently preparing a plan, in accordance with all applicable requirements and laws, under which the Agency would arrange and pay for return travel to the United States within 30 days and provide for the termination of PSC and ISC contracts that are not determined to be essential. The Agency will consider case-by-case exceptions and return travel extensions based on personal or family hardship, mobility or safety concerns, or other reasons. For example, the Agency will consider exceptions based on the timing of dependents’ school term, personal or familial medical needs, pregnancy, and other reasons. Further guidance on how to request an exception will be forthcoming.

Thank you for your service.

Apropos of Everything: World Gross Domestic Product Vs. Net Worth of Elon Musk

Michael Matheron1 Comment

Elon Musk has done well lately, at least financially, if not in mental health. His businesses and investments and chicanery have netted him an estimated 450 some-odd dollars, placing him in the company of, well, literally no other wealthy humans like Bezos and Zuckerberg who trail hundreds of billions behind. Just for the heck of it I took a moderately deep dive into this topic and present my results below, based upon the 2023-2024 GDP of all the sovereign nations on the face of the earth, at least according to the IMF and World Bank. Whether economically logical or not I’ve compared Elon Musk’s present estimated net worth with the GDP of all sovereign states still in existence today, although some are teetering. Logical or not, this has been fun; hope you like it.

By the way, Elon Musk, the country, is designated as “The Principality of MUSK”:

Next in our review is the World Bank’s GDP data for 32 countries, one of which I have added to update its (incomplete) data, i.e., adding in The Principality of MUSK. Note that the World Bank includes 217 countries as having lower GDP than Elon Musk’s estimated net worth – These amount to 185 sovereign states, including Iran, Denmark, South Africa, Portugal, New Zealand, Finland, and just about the total number of Latin American countries, encompassing Central and South America, other than Brazil and Mexico. Given the Principality of MUSK’s propinquity to the incoming U.S. President, one can guess that the Principality may move up several notches in the list below by the end of 2025, perhaps surpassing Saudi Arabia, Norway, and Spain. It is equally possible that the Principality may fall off the map altogether given its chaotic and clinically psychotic leadership, of course, the same could befall the United States bearing in mind its own embrace of mass psychosis.