On her first day as teacher of Donald Trump’s nursery school, 21 year old Annie Kirkman, reluctantly crowned him as class president, vice president, attorney general, and chief justice of the class judicial system. She also agreed to designate him as “boss” of all rules, homework assignments, Lego use permits, and recess.
“He was just so orange, and so charismatic and, well, psychopathic, I really had no choice,” said Miss Kirkman who was surrounded by his henchpersons wielding heavy Legos and juice cups. “And he threatened to fire me on the spot, and replace me with my class assistant, so what could I do? Also, four out of ten pupils supported him, and that, with me and my assistant, makes a majority. My nursery school is a democracy!”
“He chased me around the classroom,” reported Class Assistant Susan Meadows, “yelling things I’d only heard before from yucky 40 year old creepy men. Of course, I fully defend his first amendment right to express himself!”
Trump reported Miss Meadows for insubordination to the Commandant of the Corps of Cadets, Tony Valenti, who gave her a full week of round-the-clock detention in his office at the New York Military Academy where she will perform duties related to his needs.
Master Trump’s presidential portrait does indicate a certain determination and level of psychosis that promises just the right mix to lead a nursery school in the 21st century. We wish President Trump and the New York City Military Academy Nursery School Class of 2023-24 well!