December 12, 2011
Running a close second to Newt’s kindergartners-as-janitors theme is the Six Sigma process. Newt’s constant recommendation of it to one and all as “the” approved way to improve business and governmental productivity and reliability is out-of-the-box thinking for him, but not in the usual way. With this Six Sigma enchantment, the man who promotes himself as a futurist behaves more like an archaeologist in the Death Valley of Management.
A 2007 Bloomberg Businessweek article well described Six Sigma So Yesterday? describing the quite old-fashioned method it employs. It’s not been abandoned, but Six Sigma shows all the signs of age and impending exile, soon thereafter to be among the rocks left behind in the management process past. In fact, in origin, it was not very innovative at all. Its techniques existed with different names, and not much else, throughout business history. For an anecdotal example, here’s me. I worked nearly 25 years on Capitol Hill and, previously, with for profit, nongovernmental companies as well. In all, various private and public organization management teams marched us through every technique from the Peter Principle to 60 Second Management to Management By Objectives (MBO). Once implemented, all were basically the same. All were found wanting.
Why? The poor morale of the workforce that pre-existed these efforts made employee “buy in” difficult. Additionally, these techniques were, in principle and effect, simply a retread of an old tire. Nothing new there. But for a new name, each replicated much the same concepts as the last one: a search for higher productivity and error-free results through close manipulation of the workforce. Innovation, in effect, was quashed by these efforts at control. Customer service suffered from time spent meeting non-customer needs of management “monitors.” Morale, consequently, declined. Products suffered. Clients and customers noticed. Adios 30 Second Management. Rewind.
This, of course, will occur as they implement another similar “best new thing.” There is a large industry that develops “new” management techniques that differ little, if at all, from the last development; devises new names for the technique and the many processes within the technique; and engages consultants and business professors to promote the “newness” of the product.
Surely, Gingo The Magnificent, understands this. Remember, he’s a self-styled futurist, completely. He once “futurized” the placement of huge mirrors in synchronous earth orbit to light up our highways. That’s not insane, mind you, that’s “futurism.” So, Gingo’s smart enough, barely, to understand that Six Sigma is just another flawed management system among all other management systems that promised more than they could have possibly produced, employees being human beings and all.
The Future Is Generally What Happened Yesterday or What Pays Well Tomorrow. So, then, why the Gingo Six Sigma seal of approval? He never misses an opportunity to promote it. Well, here’s my four guesses why:
1. Six Sigma relies upon a Six Sigma training industry to produce consultants, trainers (“Master Black Belts,” “Black Belts,” “Green Belts,” and other Six Sig corporate pugilists), and trainers of trainers (perhaps called “Sensai”?) for companies interested in the process. Key word for Gingo? “Consultants.” My guess? He thinks Six Sigma might yield a variety of nice consulting gigs and training opportunities if he doesn’t attain the presidency (through no fault of his own, of course). With the Six Sigma believers, he’s pre-approved himself and his businesses to provide services to Fortune 100 companies. After all, it’s not unprecedented to mix business and running for the leader of the so-called free world. From the ‘git go he’s used his campaign as a book signing tour. Why not shill for Six Sigma?
2. Six Sigma thinking, despite its quickly approaching shelf life, appeals to the GOP establishment, the group Gingo needs to help blunt Romney’s appeal to that self-same group.
3. Gingo enjoys toying with his audiences and debate contestants by confusing them with arcane or absurd references. Six Sigma was a term virtually unknown to the GOP base before Gingo added it to the lingo. Most of his supporters don’t understand what he’s talking about, and he never explains Six Sigma. He plays off his reputation among undereducated supporters who nearly always accept what he says without question. Gingo also understands they will be unlikely to Google “Six Sigma” when they arrive home. Among his misbegotten strengths among the GOP base is this perceived braininess. (It’s funny, though, since the base was produced from the seed of extreme anti-intellectualism.)
4. Gingrich never does anything unless he can gain financially from it. Period. Paragraph. He must be realizing a financial gain here too, now, not exclusively in the future. Is there a monied Six Sigma industry block out there with campaign cash to spend? That’s another likely guess. Gingo’s preening and pandering to them.
