Tag: firearms

What Would An Attempt on His Own Life Be Without Donald Trump’s Contemplative Musings?

Michael Matheron1 Comment

Trump’s Truth Social post following his very bad day started out well enough. If one was hoping for some jib to humanization, his first phrases hinted at something we’ve never witnessed before from his postings, a sense of the moment and a call for sincere unification: “As we move forward in Uniting our Nation after the horrific events on Saturday, this dismissal of the Lawless Indictment in Florida should be just the first step, followed quickly by . . .” He apparently exhausted himself with the effort:

As we move forward in Uniting our Nation after the horrific events on Saturday, this dismissal of the Lawless Indictment in Florida should be just the first step, followed quickly by the dismissal of ALL the Witch Hunts — The January 6th Hoax in Washington, D.C., the Manhattan D.A.’s Zombie Case, the New York A.G. Scam, Fake Claims about a woman I never met (a decades old photo in a line with her then husband does not count), and the Georgia “Perfect” Phone Call charges. The Democrat Justice Department coordinated ALL of these Political Attacks, which are an Election Interference conspiracy against Joe Biden’s Political Opponent, ME. Let us come together to END all Weaponization of our Justice System, and Make America Great Again!

@realDonaldTrump Donald Trump Truth Social 10:41 AM EST 07/15/24

We should not be surprised. He’s a singularity, an irresistible force, immune from everyday – decent – emotions. It would’ve been an apt time to follow up on his opening unification theme, but we learned that he’s immovable as he jumped immediately and immodestly from “move forward in Uniting our Nation” to his idea of unification. His sense of national unification is self-referential only. His list of unifying prerequisites is entirely so, for example, his usual list, “dismissal of the Lawless Indictment in Florida should be just the first step, followed quickly by the dismissal of ALL the Witch Hunts — The January 6th Hoax in Washington, D.C.” and on and on. Being shot apparently doesn’t move him to self-examination, no sitting humbly before death. How empty must he be?

In a stunning irony, at the end of his cris de coeur he wrote, “Let us come together to END all Weaponization of our Justice System.” Yet, there is no mention of the weaponization of our society, and at a moment when he must still have felt the sting of the gunshot and the sensed the whizz of the bullet from one of those very real weapons. The only weaponization he cares about, deeply, is the judicial weapon aimed at himself in a land where accountability is still – if only barely – holding on.

Congressloon Louie Gohmert – Spoons – The Unexamined Cause of Violent Deaths, Second Only to Firearms

Michael Matheron2 Comments

Note: The always dependable Texas congressloon, Louie Gohmert, spends much of his time studying logic, and in 2011 he “logicked” about spoons and firearms. In my earlier version of this blog (2007-2017) I posted what follows as an explanation to my many readers, obviously not logicians, who failed to follow his meaning. I post this again here in commemoration and admiration of Mr. Gohmert’s demonstration of logic. Read it and learn.
———————-

Military grade spoons, I say!!!!

“We have spoons that are too big and too numerous.
It’s not the spoons that make people fat
and it’s not the guns that kill people,
it’s people that kill people.”

Congressman Louie Gohmert (R-TX), January 2011

Try taking down a wart hog with a spoon. Spoons do not have triggers, so, unlike bullets expelled from guns at high velocity, spoons cannot kill a wart hog from a distance of more than approximately three inches and not without an abnormal amount of exertion on the attacker’s part and an equally abnormal passivity on the wart hog’s part. Without a doubt, a spoon-armed attack on a wart hog is a nasty task, as I found out.  I still wake up running through the neighborhood screaming like a guy in a Wes Craven movie.

I looked this up.  In any event, statistics bear out the Congressloon’s observations: In the United States, from 1990 to date the number of accidental deaths/homicides/suicides by spoon are obviously swamped by bullet-related deaths. Swamped. (Although, please note, I do not wish to imply that spoon crimes and negligence ought to remain unaddressed.)  Also, from the FBI website, arrests in the 50 states for carrying a concealed spoon track quite closely Health and Human Services data on obesity and obesity-related violent deaths, think spoons.

Try eating a pudding with a bullet. I did so, forthrightly testing Congressman Gohmert’s logical argument. For a full 10 minutes, using a highly recommended Remington 9mm 124 grain FMJ (full metal jacket) bullet, I attacked a 12 oz. bowl of room temperature pudding. I was able to stuff the concoction into my gullet, but the  bullet’s small size caused me to consume far less pudding than I had in the pre-test. Clearly, this validates the Congressman’s observations.

I hope this helps and never forget:
All men are mortal.
Louie Gohmert is a man.
Therefore, all men are Louie Gohmert

Spoons: The Unexamined Cause of Deaths, Only Second to Firearms

Michael MatheronLeave a comment

January 11, 2011

“We have spoons that are too big and too numerous.
It’s not the spoons that make people fat
and it’s not the guns that kill people,
it’s people that kill people.”
Congressman Louie Goehmert (R-TX)

NOTE: The always dependable Texas congressloon, Mr. Gohmert, who spends much of his time perfecting the field of logic, recently “logicked” the syllogism above. In my earlier version of this blog, I posted this as an explanation to my many readers who, obviously not logicians, failed to follow his meaning. I post this again here in commemoration and admiration of Mr. Gohmert’s demonstration of logic. Read it and learn. . .

Try taking down a warthog with a spoon. Spoons do not have triggers, so, unlike bullets expelled from guns at high velocity, spoons cannot kill a wart hog from a distance of more than approximately three inches and not without an abnormal amount of exertion on the attacker’s part and an equally abnormal passivity on the warthog’s part. Without a doubt, a spoon-armed attack on a warthog is a nasty task, as I found out.  I still wake up running through the neighborhood screaming like a guy in a Wes Craven movie.

I looked this up.  Statistics bear out the Congressman’s observations: In the United States, from 1990 to date the number of accidental deaths/homicides/suicides by spoon are swamped by bullet-related deaths.  Swamped. (Although, please note, I do not wish to imply that spoon crimes and negligence ought to remain unaddressed.)  Also, from the FBI website, arrests in the 50 states for carrying a concealed spoon track quite closely Health and Human Services data on obesity. 

Try eating a pudding with a bullet. I did so, forthrightly testing Congressman Goehmert’s logical argument. For a full 10 minutes, using a highly recommended Remington 9mm 124 grain FMJ (full metal jacket) bullet, I attacked a 12-oz. bowl of room temperature chocolate pudding. I was able to stuff the concoction into my gullet, but the  bullet’s small size caused me to consume far less pudding than I had in the pre-test whilst employing a spoon. Clearly, this validates the Congressman’s observations.

I hope this helps. Never forget:

All men are mortal.
Louie Gohmert is a man.
Therefore, all men are spoons