May 22, 2011
Yesterday, Ex VP Dick Cheney revealed that he “worships the ground that Paul Ryan walks on.” Mr. Ryan (R-WI), Chairman of the House Budget Committee, and champion of the embattled “Kill Medicare” budget provision, had no immediate comment. In fact, Mr. Ryan has made no comment on any topic whatever since Cheney’s endorsement. Or was Cheney intimating not so much a political endorsement as a declaration of romantic interest?
The Cheney Effect. At a KPMG Global Energy Institute event at the InterContinental Hotel in Houston, Mr. Cheney expressed his devout admiration for the Chairman of the House Budget Committee, Mr. Ryan, whose budget plan created a hornets nest of ill will among nearly 75% of the country’s citizens. Mr. Cheney, however, and nearly the entire GOP, Libertarians, and Tea Partiers embraced the plan warmly. The former VP under President Bush (“Dubya”) obviously embraced it more thoroughly than others, and was seen by reliable sources drooling and panting slightly as he spoke of Mr. Ryan. Mrs. Cheney later told reporters, “I didn’t see it coming. He can barely pull his pants on in the morning to shoot out the bedroom window at some tiny birds and neighbors. I’m mystified; really, totally stunned.”
Speculation began immediately whether Congressman Ryan, who occasionally expresses interest in a 2012 presidential run, could survive Cheney’s endorsement. Efforts to reach Mr. Ryan for comment were unsuccessful. His Chief of Staff indicated that Ryan’s doctors were with the disconsolate congressional firebrand, and administering intravenous Lexapro, Haldol, Ambien, Cialis, buffalo relaxant, and an experimental tranquilizer dart designed to safely bring rabid monkeys out of trees. “No success thus far,” according to an anonymous source, his wife, Janna Ryan.
