Nikki Haley: No Success with Secession, Part One

. . . if Texas decides they want to do that [secede] they can do that,
but I don’t think that if that whole state says we don’t want to be
part of America anymore I mean that’s their decision to make . . .”

Nikki Haley, January 31, 2024, speaking on The Breakfast Club

“Asking the U.S. if you can secede from it is a bit like asking your iPhone if you can use it
as an iron lung. It’s not built to do that, and also: No.”

“So you want to secede from the U.S.: A four-step guide,” Washington Post, July 26,2016

“What the Constitution says repeatedly is once you’re in (as a state), you’re in. 
If people want to secede, they are allowed to leave; they just can’t take the land and the water with them. There is a lawful way to secede – it’s called emigration. They can move to Canada.”

Akhil Reed Amar, Sterling Professor of Law and Political Science at Yale University

Secession 101

Oops! I did it again . . .

Nikki Haley’s relationship with the Constitution is somewhat distant when it comes to secession. In 2010, for example, she gave almost a verbatim version of her comments last Wednesday. Then, she was asked directly by the pro-Confederacy group Sons of Confederate Veterans whether states have the right to secede, and she replied, “I think that they do, I mean, the Constitution says that.” She hasn’t learned the correct answer in the intervening 14 years. In fact, the Constitution has no provision permitting secession.

No state may legally secede based only upon the will of that state’s people. In the post Civil War year of 1869, in Texas v. White, the Supreme Court settled the issue when Chief Justice Salmon Chase wrote, 

More recently, in 2020, Justice Antonin Scalia observed in a letter to a screenwriter researching secession, “If there was any constitutional issue resolved by the Civil War, it is that there is no right to secede. (Hence, in the Pledge of Allegiance, ‘one Nation, indivisible.’)” The screenwriter’s brother reported that Justices Sam Alito, Clarence Thomas, and Stephen Breyer responded in the same spirit and noted that “the responding troika of Scalia-Alito-Thomas form 3/4 of the conservative wing[.]” That’s principled conservatism.

Then, what are the arguments that the Constitution permits secession, implicitly, if not explicitly? I’ll tackle that in a post next week.

Barbie Challenges Texas Senator Ted Cruz to Kung Fu Cage Match, Cruz Leaves Country

Who knew Barbie is a Chinese communist who spent more than $150 million on her vanity movie to promote Chinese communism? Specifically, the roiling dispute surrounding China’s claim to the South China Sea. Moreover, she’s a Kung Fu enthusiast. Of course, her starring role ought to have warned us and Ted Cruz (if he’d seen the movie). She’s not your mother’s Barbie.

Yes, she has a wealth of talent unforeseen, including subduing the Kens of the world, one of whom is Ted Cruz. His single talent is demonstrating the traits of an everyday jackass. And as a jackass, he pissed off Barbie, and got challenged to a martial arts cage match. Barbie the avenger, no less. How’d this come to pass?

I want to treat Cruz’s position on Barbie’s threat to national security with the seriousness that a very serious senator is due. So here we go. Here’s how we got to where we are tonight, with Ted on the run. . .from . . .Barbie. So, in the panel on the left, I yield the floor to the senator himself. Scroll down a bit and give a listen. This is how Ted earns his living.

So according to Cruz, Barbie’s mission, for a short period during her movie and through the use of a single childish map, was to win over her audience to Chinese communism. And, of course, her audience would know the meaning of the nine dashes (in fact, there are only eight. . . Go ahead, count ’em. So Ted can’t count, or he starts counting with two; I know where I’m placing my bet.)

Barbie reacted as expected. As a rabid Chinese communist, she offered Ted a choice: “Retract or I will end you.” Kung Fu style. Ted is in reality a very reticent jackass, like Eeyore, not prone to combat. So his choice was obvious. Leave the family behind, run to the airport, and board the first one-way flight to Cancun, Mexico. He retracted on the way to the airport:

“Barbie, so I wear glasses, so . . . . . .”

I do, I offer a complete and utter retraction. The imputation was totally without basis in fact, and was in no way fair comment, and was motivated purely by malice, and I deeply regret any distress that my comments may have caused you, or your family, and I hereby undertake not to repeat any such slander at any time in the future.

Plagiarized from A Fish Called Wanda, 1988

No word yet from Barbie who reportedly is considering accepting his retraction. Nonetheless, according to insiders she’s leaning toward “kicking the jackass’s ass.” We’ll keep an eye on this, and if she decides to hunt him down, she has friends everywhere, Cancun included.